it's the day after Thanksgiving and.......

do cancer patients appreciate life, appreciate the important things in life, more than other people who do not face a life threatening disease? so many cancer survivors who have msged me say that's true. and as I sat at my Thanksgiving table yesterday, holding hands with my daughter and dear friends during a silent Quaker blessing, I found myself grateful for the big stuff: family, friends, just being alive.
but I've also found that it's not that simple - that cancer suddenly transforms you into a human who knows and appreciates the real meaning of life. here I am back at work today, bogged down by the trivial stuff that bogs everyone down - deadlines, dirty dishes, the oppressive need to go shopping and start mailing presents. to tell you the truth, those little things seem waaay more important at the moment than anything else, including cancer and death. and maybe that's a good thing. being distracted and irked by the little things keeps me fully plugged into life (and helps me forget that advancing cancer sets me apart from the trivia-oppressed crowd out there). and for sure, cancer patients don't need even one milligram more of guilt. so if I forget the Meaning of Life for several days and instead worry about dog fleas in my house, I don't give myself a hard time over that.

overwhelmed

I'm feeling so overwhelmed today. And the great thing is, for a change it's not about my cancer.
I had felt reluctant at first to do a first person story about my spreading cancer (not shy, I just don't think journalists should be writing about themselves), but I convinced myself that it would be a good thing if it served as a springboard for more cancer stories and for giving cancer patients and their families a "voice."
And now Im overwhelmed, and humbled, by the response. Ive lost count of the emails, and to date there have been about 40 calls. Common comment: THANK YOU for saying things about cancer that don't often get said. Like: cancer patients aren't all gloom and doom but often face their dire disease with humor and grace.
Ive heard from patients who deserve the title The Incredibles: Long after doctors (or at least their friends) had given up on them, they were still enduring after many recurrences, and grueling treatments. (Cancer is not for sissies, that's for sure.) I heard from many family members, and for so many the cancer was more painful to them than the loved one enduring it. I heard from selfless volunteers, many of them cancer survivors themselves. And so many people said they would pray for me - a person they had never met! I'm deeply touched by that.

I'll briefly share some inspirational emailed words (out of many many).
Andrea told me about her mother, who has FIVE cancers, all unrelated. "How can she still LIVE? I ask that question every day. I don't need to tell you about the treatments and the surgeries and all of the invasive infusions. I just wanted to tell you that my mother is the epitome of living each day as if it were your last."
Brenda told me how "a brain tumor surprised me for my 30th birthday and thyroid cancer greeted me on my 50th....I've found that my illnesses set me apart from most folks who worry about things that are so tangible and fleeting. My brain tumor was in fact a gift from which I learned my priorities and reality."
thank you all for the responses and for making me feel so good about doing this. Most fellow cancer patients I've met over the years (in fact I could say all cancer patients I've met) have been so eager to share their stories. Please keep emailing and calling. fvrazo@phillynews.com and 215-854-4199.

The 'Cancer Chronicles' begins

Fawn makes notes while waiting for a blood test before meeting with her doctor. Afterward she would undergo her chemotherapy session.

This is the story, published in the Nov. 21 Philadelphia Inquirer.